File #1337: "CAC_CC_039_1_1_3_0003.pdf"

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Box 1, Folder 3, Item 3- Clipping of "The Candidate"
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He cometh up like a flower and retireth from the race busted. His friends fill him with false
hopes and atmosphere. He welleth like a toad and thinkers the earth his'n. He smileth upon all
mankind and sloppeth over with humor. He kissers the children and scatterth his microbes
among innocent babes. He privately cheetah a clove when he meeteth a preacher and as he
converseth with him he standeth to the leaward and curbeth his breath as with a strong bit. He
goeth home late at night to his weary wife with a beery breath and cold feet. He risith up
betime and bicketh forth without his breakfast saying "I go to a man." The dead beat lieth in
wait and pulleth his leg to a queen's taste. He "naileth a lie" but before election he runeth short
on nails. He giveth liberally to the church, he subscribeth a good sum to the band, contributeth
to the poor whose barn was burned, he sendeth a small keg hither and a large keg thither, he
yieldeth up his substance with apparent alacrity. After election he goeth back of the barn and
kicketh himself and teareth his hair and calleth himself a Rottendam fool- Minneapolis
Messenger
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